SURRENDER TO THE INEVITABLE EBBS OF LIFE

Right now I’m in an ebb. I can feel it. And I have to consciously surrender to it every day, because I trust in the cycle of ebb and flow, and not necessarily because it feels natural to me. Surrendering to the ebbs of life runs completely counter to American living. Americans push, and go, and move, and achieve, and accomplish, and produce. A stay-at-home mom can have just as many daily balls in the air as the CEO of a large company. If you are an American, you are most likely very active in life on a day to day basis. And if you are not, unless you are at complete peace with peace, you most likely feel an extreme sense of guilt for your lack of motivation and inactivity. Continue reading SURRENDER TO THE INEVITABLE EBBS OF LIFE

MANAGE FEAR LIKE A GODDESS

I’m frenemies with fear, and have been for my entire life.

managefear_frenemy

Every part of this definition incisively describes my lifelong relationship with fear, with the exception of describing fear as a person. Also, I would replace the word “friendly” with “familiar,” but other than that, razor sharp accuracy. Although I suppose everyone feels this way about fear. And as much as I hate to admit it, the term “friendly” in some ways is in fact accurate, because I would not be a goddess without fear as my “friend”…I just threw up in my mouth a little, but it’s true. Continue reading MANAGE FEAR LIKE A GODDESS

MIRACLES EMERGE FROM THE STILLNESS

I’m still meditating, folks. I’m in my third week now and it has not gotten any easier. If anything, it feels harder because the novelty has worn off. However, I wonder if there is something to this whole practice after all. Continue reading MIRACLES EMERGE FROM THE STILLNESS

DEATH AND MAGIC: LETTING GO OF THE OLD TO BRING IN THE NEW

I have just returned from an evening drive and feel exhilarated and open. Let me back up a bit. Continue reading DEATH AND MAGIC: LETTING GO OF THE OLD TO BRING IN THE NEW

MEDITATION: WEEK 1

Saturday, June 20, 2020  |  9:24-9:33am

I was certain that I meditated for a bit longer this morning, but it turns out I meditated for exactly nine minutes again, same as yesterday. Totally okay, good for me! The fact that I lovingly kicked my partner out of the bedroom (he was getting up anyway, so it’s okay) to meditate for a second day in a row, is something to be proud of. Continue reading MEDITATION: WEEK 1

THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE COMMITS TO MEDITATION

I have attempted meditation many times in my adult life, and I have never quite taken to it. I think I’m pretty good at not beating myself up about “doing it wrong,” and I understand there are so many different ways to meditate. As long as the meditator attempts to achieve some kind of mental clarity during the meditation session, said meditator is on the right track. Continue reading THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE COMMITS TO MEDITATION

THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE IN QUARANTINE

The Goddess Attainable has been silent since the COVID-19 outbreak began, but she feels the need to emerge at this time. For one thing, I (switching from third person to first person now) was really struggling to find my own balance with all of it, and I don’t find it useful to create blog posts when I’m a mess. Continue reading THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE IN QUARANTINE

100% TOXIN-FREE, ANTI-AGING, BEAUTY REGIMEN

I took a trip to Las Vegas in January of 2019 with my bestie, Matt, to see Lady Gaga in concert, and to just enjoy time away from the East Coast.

Continue reading 100% TOXIN-FREE, ANTI-AGING, BEAUTY REGIMEN

MAKING ART: WHY IT’S HARD AND WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP MAKING IT ANYWAY

I remember when I was in college, my photography professor told me that in order to create one good image, you need to take four rolls of film (this was in 2001 when film was still actively in use within the industry). A roll of film typically allows for 36 images, so multiply that by four and you have 144 images. So, one in 144 images is worth using. Or, another way of looking at it is, if you really want to increase the quality if your work, shoot four rolls of film and choose the best image from that body of work, and only print that one best image. And then shoot another four rolls of film in order to get two good images. This idea was so profound for me and I don’t disagree at all. Putting this into practice is difficult, though. For one reason.

Continue reading MAKING ART: WHY IT’S HARD AND WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP MAKING IT ANYWAY

TURNING 40

I recently celebrated my 40th birthday (September 19th) and I thought it might be nice to compile a list of things I have learned thus far. Forty years is not immensely impressive, but it’s also not nothing. It’s four decades (holy crap) and includes childhood, puberty, and the terrible twenties (I was miserable in my twenties). Once I reached my thirties, things markedly leveled off. I can recall a moment (I was living in New York City, despairing, and searching for relief from the darkness I had been feeling for the extent of my entire life, reading Happiness by Matthieu Ricard) when I was hit with the thought that maybe there is hope after all and that my life isn’t going to continue to be a series of dramatic passageways through various versions of hell. I still don’t know if this realization came from the book or from the fact that I was finally through my twenties, but either way, that moment became a turning point for me. To know that life might be something more than just struggle upon struggle felt like such a relief and kept me motivated to continue on my path.

Continue reading TURNING 40