I will be turning 41 in four days and have been reflecting back on the last year, noticing all of the changes and attempting to mentally compile a list of things I have learned. I feel like I’m coming up a bit short, but I am going to take an honest stab at this anyway.Continue reading WHAT I LEARNED DURING MY YEAR OF BEING 40
I’m frenemies with fear, and have been for my entire life.
Every part of this definition incisively describes my lifelong relationship with fear, with the exception of describing fear as a person. Also, I would replace the word “friendly” with “familiar,” but other than that, razor sharp accuracy. Although I suppose everyone feels this way about fear. And as much as I hate to admit it, the term “friendly” in some ways is in fact accurate, because I would not be a goddess without fear as my “friend”…I just threw up in my mouth a little, but it’s true. Continue reading MANAGE FEAR LIKE A GODDESS
I took a trip to Las Vegas in January of 2019 with my bestie, Matt, to see Lady Gaga in concert, and to just enjoy time away from the East Coast.
I recently celebrated my 40th birthday (September 19th) and I thought it might be nice to compile a list of things I have learned thus far. Forty years is not immensely impressive, but it’s also not nothing. It’s four decades (holy crap) and includes childhood, puberty, and the terrible twenties (I was miserable in my twenties). Once I reached my thirties, things markedly leveled off. I can recall a moment (I was living in New York City, despairing, and searching for relief from the darkness I had been feeling for the extent of my entire life, reading Happiness by Matthieu Ricard) when I was hit with the thought that maybe there is hope after all and that my life isn’t going to continue to be a series of dramatic passageways through various versions of hell. I still don’t know if this realization came from the book or from the fact that I was finally through my twenties, but either way, that moment became a turning point for me. To know that life might be something more than just struggle upon struggle felt like such a relief and kept me motivated to continue on my path.
I don’t really like dealing with doctors. I have never really liked dealing with doctors and have never felt comfortable putting my body and my health in the hands of another human being. I am not saying I don’t have trust and control issues and I can completely admit to having minor to moderate hypochondria tendencies. But I still believe the points I intend to bring up in this post are completely valid regardless of any neurosis I may be responsible for. Continue reading DOCTOR SCHMOCTOR