THREE DATING DOS AND DON’TS FOR FINDING TRUE LOVE

I don’t typically watch trash TV, but I recently found myself compelled to watch Season 14 of The Bachelorette on HBO Max (originally released in 2018). I knew nothing about this season, but I remember years ago when I watched the very first season of The Bachelorette (with Trista and Ryan) and felt so warmed that they actually got married, had children, and seemed to stay happily together. I was also tired of watching promos for The Bachelor, seeing women throw themselves at this one man who just sat back and enjoyed the view, only to break up with them after the show ended. These women were gorgeous and deep and smart, and I just couldn’t stand to watch them make asses of themselves for this one guy. However, I felt much more intrigued to watch a woman, genuinely looking for love, have multiple suitors try to win her heart. It’s all trash, I know, but sometimes I love indulging in trash.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING AND THREE IMPORTANT THINGS NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU

I am no longer single, but my years of dating and struggling with my love life will forever be a part of me, and I truly thank the Universe every day for finally delivering me from that space of singleness. It was hard and I don’t wish the struggle on anyone. That being said, I now know that it’s survivable if you have the tools and support system to navigate the crazy single space and project yourself in a positive direction. For many years (upwards of ten), I was not moving in a forward direction, but rather in more of a cyclical, repetitive, unproductive direction. Once I finally snapped out of that spin, I still had work to do, but it was much more positive work, and much more fruitful!

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CALLING ALL SINGLE LADIES LOOKING FOR LOVE

I write this post because when I was single, I was always looking for sound advice from those who had figured it out, and I always felt let down in some way. Either the person giving the advice had a relationship that ultimately ended. Or their advice felt very unreachable and inaccessible. I also read and personally received lots of suggestions and performed almost every suggestion I ever received, all to no avail. Finally, after a certain point, I just stopped reading articles like this because I was so frustrated and depressed about my situation, that I actually felt worse hearing hopeful hints of advice from smug relationship-y people. If you are at that point, or if you are before or after that point, this article still might be for you. I will give you the hard (but loving) truth and I hope that in this truth, you will actually find the hope you need to keep moving forward, taking deliberate and necessary action to finally end the hell of cyclical singleness.

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