THREE DATING DOS AND DON’TS FOR FINDING TRUE LOVE

I don’t typically watch trash TV, but I recently found myself compelled to watch Season 14 of The Bachelorette on HBO Max (originally released in 2018). I knew nothing about this season, but I remember years ago when I watched the very first season of The Bachelorette (with Trista and Ryan) and felt so warmed that they actually got married, had children, and seemed to stay happily together. I was also tired of watching promos for The Bachelor, seeing women throw themselves at this one man who just sat back and enjoyed the view, only to break up with them after the show ended. These women were gorgeous and deep and smart, and I just couldn’t stand to watch them make asses of themselves for this one guy. However, I felt much more intrigued to watch a woman, genuinely looking for love, have multiple suitors try to win her heart. It’s all trash, I know, but sometimes I love indulging in trash.

Continue reading THREE DATING DOS AND DON’TS FOR FINDING TRUE LOVE

THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING AND THREE IMPORTANT THINGS NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU

I am no longer single, but my years of dating and struggling with my love life will forever be a part of me, and I truly thank the Universe every day for finally delivering me from that space of singleness. It was hard and I don’t wish the struggle on anyone. That being said, I now know that it’s survivable if you have the tools and support system to navigate the crazy single space and project yourself in a positive direction. For many years (upwards of ten), I was not moving in a forward direction, but rather in more of a cyclical, repetitive, unproductive direction. Once I finally snapped out of that spin, I still had work to do, but it was much more positive work, and much more fruitful!

Continue reading THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING AND THREE IMPORTANT THINGS NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU

CALLING ALL SINGLE LADIES LOOKING FOR LOVE

I write this post because when I was single, I was always looking for sound advice from those who had figured it out, and I always felt let down in some way. Either the person giving the advice had a relationship that ultimately ended. Or their advice felt very unreachable and inaccessible. I also read and personally received lots of suggestions and performed almost every suggestion I ever received, all to no avail. Finally, after a certain point, I just stopped reading articles like this because I was so frustrated and depressed about my situation, that I actually felt worse hearing hopeful hints of advice from smug relationship-y people. If you are at that point, or if you are before or after that point, this article still might be for you. I will give you the hard (but loving) truth and I hope that in this truth, you will actually find the hope you need to keep moving forward, taking deliberate and necessary action to finally end the hell of cyclical singleness.

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WHAT I LEARNED DURING MY YEAR OF BEING 40

I will be turning 41 in four days and have been reflecting back on the last year, noticing all of the changes and attempting to mentally compile a list of things I have learned. I feel like I’m coming up a bit short, but I am going to take an honest stab at this anyway.

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THE RUG: A TEACHING TOOL FOR LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, AND LETTING GO

“I am in love with what we are, not what we should be.” -Ke$ha, Animal

kesha animal

I love Kesha in all her forms. I loved her when she was Ke$ha and I love her now that she’s Kesha. The first time I heard the song Animal, quoted above, these first lines of the song hit me really hard, and I remember thinking, “I wish I felt that way, but I don’t.” Continue reading THE RUG: A TEACHING TOOL FOR LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, AND LETTING GO

DEATH AND MAGIC: LETTING GO OF THE OLD TO BRING IN THE NEW

I have just returned from an evening drive and feel exhilarated and open. Let me back up a bit. Continue reading DEATH AND MAGIC: LETTING GO OF THE OLD TO BRING IN THE NEW

THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE IN QUARANTINE

The Goddess Attainable has been silent since the COVID-19 outbreak began, but she feels the need to emerge at this time. For one thing, I (switching from third person to first person now) was really struggling to find my own balance with all of it, and I don’t find it useful to create blog posts when I’m a mess. Continue reading THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE IN QUARANTINE

TURNING 40

I recently celebrated my 40th birthday (September 19th) and I thought it might be nice to compile a list of things I have learned thus far. Forty years is not immensely impressive, but it’s also not nothing. It’s four decades (holy crap) and includes childhood, puberty, and the terrible twenties (I was miserable in my twenties). Once I reached my thirties, things markedly leveled off. I can recall a moment (I was living in New York City, despairing, and searching for relief from the darkness I had been feeling for the extent of my entire life, reading Happiness by Matthieu Ricard) when I was hit with the thought that maybe there is hope after all and that my life isn’t going to continue to be a series of dramatic passageways through various versions of hell. I still don’t know if this realization came from the book or from the fact that I was finally through my twenties, but either way, that moment became a turning point for me. To know that life might be something more than just struggle upon struggle felt like such a relief and kept me motivated to continue on my path.

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RELATIONSHIP SEX: HOW TO FEEL CONSISTENTLY POSITIVE ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER AND NEVER, EVER DREAD THE ACT

Have you ever been in a relationship and had sex with your partner when you didn’t want to? I can’t imagine that any woman reading this (or even any woman not reading this) would answer no. For women especially, this is just something that we have been conditioned to do, and I think all of us have experienced at one time or another, having sex with our partner when we weren’t in the mood. Continue reading RELATIONSHIP SEX: HOW TO FEEL CONSISTENTLY POSITIVE ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER AND NEVER, EVER DREAD THE ACT

IS YOUR CHILDHOOD SELF RUNNING YOUR LIFE?

I had a revelation last night when I asked for help from The Goddess in a moment of need. First, let me back up and tell you how this all came about. Continue reading IS YOUR CHILDHOOD SELF RUNNING YOUR LIFE?